Strong?

'You're so strong emotionally', that's what people tell me.
They say I am in control of what I feel, and that I am too emotionless for my good.
They say I can control myself in public, and not breakdown and make a fool of myself when something happens. Lauging, yes; angry, yes; others, no.
They say no one knows what I am thinking.
They say I can just stare into space, and no emotion crosses my face.
They say I exhibit nothing, even when I am alone with them, and something bad has just passed.
They say I just say 'I'm fine' and that's the end of discussion.

I am not.
I am not strong.
I am not strong emotionally.
It's just a front that I've put up.
A barrier.
A barrier that protects me.
A barrier that protects me from the world.
I used to have this barrier.
But it's gone now.
And I have to protect myself even more than ever.

Everyone sees me laugh.
But no one sees me cry.
Why should they?
It's only recently I've begin to talk to people.
I've been so shut up in my box that I can't open the cover to get out.
I don't think I ever want to get out.

I am strong, huh?
It's called self protection.
I am being wary.
I am being careful.

But I still can smile, because the world is still beautiful at times.

The sky is so dark and grey, and yet the sun still shines brighly to penetrate the clouds